Sound Threeeee Chaotix
by Vixen-Hana
Summary: Very stupid stories about the sound three's little adventures! Not to make fun of any characters. YAY! R&R pweeeeze. pout
1. Chapter 1

**(A/N) Hey there! I felt like writing more Sound three stories, so here it goes. These, unlike my last screwed up ones, are meant to be funny, unlike the others that were mainly focused on romance. Hope you likey.**

Zaku sniffed the rice. It LOOKED normal. It SMELLED normal. Maybe...

It WAS normal.

"Zaku, are you going to eat it or not?" Kin stood up infront of him.

Zaku looked up.

"Um...alright?"

"Your supossed to say 'yes Kin! I'll eat your wonderful cooking.' when I ask you that." Kin pouted.

"Wonderful?" questioned Dosu.

"What?!" Kin yelled.

"I said, it's wonderful."

"oh.."

The sound three were on a picinic. It wasn't exactlly what Dosu and Zaku had in mind, when they said yes to a food party. Kin made it sound...manly. There is nothing manly about a tea party outside under a tree, with happy little squirrels chirping and falling off trees, and little rabbits, flying by, and tripping over themselves. Plus, Kin made them ware pink tutus.

"Kiiiiin! These tutu's are giving me a wedgie!" Zaku whinned.

"At least I let you ware pants under them." Kin smilled.

"I feel stupid." Dosu stated.

"Well, that's because you refused to cooperate, and you had to ware the matching training bra." Kin added.

"How come I don't get one?" Zaku said sarcasticlly, pointing at Dosu's bra.

"It was a buy two tutu's, get one training bra half price. I couldn't afford another one."

_Phew._ Zaku thought.

"why aren't YOU waring a tutu Kin?" Dosu asked.

"Are you kidding?! Their WAY too girly for me. You think i'd actually think of waring that crap?"

"Yes."

"..."

After a few candies, and bowls of ramen, and manly hide and seek, the three were under the tree, pouring cups of tea.

Sauske walked by, in his little trunks.

"What the hell are you doing?" He asked Dosu and Zaku, looking at their tutu's.

"We're having a MANLY tea party!" yelled Zaku.

"Whatever." Sauske walked away, tripping on a chirping squirrel.

Zaku nudged Dosu.

"Is it me...or was he checking you out?"

Dosu stared at Zaku. "Yes. I think he...was." Dosu shivered.

"Creepy."

Now, the three were engagining in the manly sport of tag.

"Your it Dosu!" Kin smilled.

Dosu pranced over to Zaku, and tapped his shoulder.

"Your it! hahahaha!"

Zaku smilled. He tripped over a chirping squirrel. And fell on his face.

Zaku stood up.

"WHAT THE HELL! SINCE WHEN DO SQUIRRELS CHIRP?!"

"Since they passed the new law about birds having to meow."

"..."

Night fell upon the three sound nin. Dosu packed up the te set, and struggled to unhook the training bra.

"Hey Kin. I wanted to tell you something." Zaku said.

"Hm?"

"You look great today!"

"..."

"You know...I'm not really atrracted by guys in tutu's."

_Yes I am. He does'nt need to know that though._

"You smell nice. Like...strawberries."

"That's my deoderant."

"..."

**(A/N) Okay. This was the weirdest thing I ever wrote. Hope you got a laugh. Pweeze review! There might be more stories if you review!**


	2. Squirrels

**Heeeeeeeeey there! I got bored and decided to write more. Sorry for mis spelling Sasuke's name last chappy. It happens. By the way, this chappy contains a dead squirrel, fanta, a OOC Gaara, Kankuro gettin beat up, a hamster on steroids and milk. Anyways, hope ya gets a laugh out of this one! (grin)**

"Okay, if your going to be a cop, and your going to be...uh, a trash picker...?"

"A person that helps the homless idiot!!!" Kin yelled at Zaku.

"Yeah...sure... i'll be... A WRESTLER!!!"

"..."

"What?"

"A..._wrestler_?" questioned Kin.

"Yeah, I could have my own movie and sound track too!" Zaku declared proudly.

"You can't beat a hamster." Dosu sighed.

"Well it's not my fault! That match was rigged I tell you! That hamster was on steroids!"

"What?" questioned Kin.

"Uh...I rather not talk about it."

The sound three, were engaging in a game of pretend. Dosu, who said he would be a cop, was bored like hell. Kin, who was suposed to be a homless-person-helper, was running down the street. Zaku, was trying to figure out weather he should ware a mask, or a camouflouge hat, and weather he should ware tights, a speedo, or those, below the knee shorts. He decided on the shorts, noticing that if he wore any of the other things, Kin might stare to much. Sasuke too.

Kin spoted a person down the street

"He looks pretty trashy. He most be homless!" Kin said proudly.

Two minutes later

"Come on! Don't deny it! i'm here to help you! I know homless may be a shamed to say it, but you don't have to deny it with me!"

"I'm not homless!" yelled Sakura.

"Come on!" yelled Kin.

"And stop calling me a 'mister'! I'm a girl, even idiots can figure that out!"

"GASP! Now your denying your gender! I better call into the social services..."

"STOP IT!" yelled Sakura.

Dosu walked down the street He didn't like the idea of being a cop, but, it was all he could think of.

"Maa'm, are you having troubles?" He asked Kin.

"Yes officer, this homless refuses to cooperate with a liscenced homless worker."

Dosu, who only bothered to put on a cop hat and badge, and carry a night stick, tilted his head.

"I finally have a solution!" He yelled.

He sat down on the floor, and pulled out a donught out of no where.

He shoved it into his face, forgettting his face was bandeged. It smushed all over his face.

"DAMMIT! That was a cream filled too!" Dosu tried to wipe his face.

"IT'S IN MY EYES!!!"

"OUT OF THE WAY, I'M A LISENCED HOMELESS WORKER!"

"How is that going to help?" Dosu said.

"Well...I don't know. It just sounded cool."

Sakura tried to tiptoe away.

"Where are you going?! I need to get you to the homeless shelter!"

Kin started to chase Sakura down the street.

Dosu sat there, with cream-filled all over his face.

Zaku came up to Dosu, shirtless, with shorts to his knees, and knee pads. He looked at Dosu.

"OMFA! Your a wrestler too?!"

"What the hell are you talk--"

"Your mask is deceiving. I shall find your identity eventually though! I challenge you to a no DQ (disqualification) match for the WWE title!"

"You don't even know what a WWE title is--"

"Of course I do! It's gold, and it spins like a turntable!"

"Well, yeah, but John Cena's the title holder right now--"

"Who is this, 'John Cena' you speak of?!"

"A...wrestler?"

Zaku scratched his chin in thought.

"A shall find this John Cena, and challenge him!"

"He lives in Tampa, Florida."

"Oh...uh...to Tampa!"

(Zaku runs off)

Gaara walked down the street. He didn't know what he was doing outside. He was just walking. Rock Lee, was a few yards behind him, in bandages and bobos.

Gaara looked at him.

"Damn. Those are serious bobos. Did I reallly do that?"

He thought for a moment.

"Yeah. I did."

Gaara stared at him.

"He's so...creepy." Gaara whispered to himself.

Gaara pulled out the cork from his gourd. He flung it at Lee.

"AH!!!! My eye! it is, in a rather strange pain! I think I have gone blind!!!!"

Gaara smirked.

Kin walked up to Dosu.

"I'm tired of playing pretend."

"Yeah, me too." Agreed Dosu.

"Where's Zaku?"

"He went of to challenge John Cena for his WWE title."

"who is that?"

"A...wrestler?"

"Oh. Where's he at?"

"Probably at Tampa, Florida. Of course, he's never ACTUALLY home."

Kin nodded.

Kin looked up.

"Hey, what's that over there?"

"I'm not falling for that Kin. Last time you kis--"

"No, i'm serious, look!"

"No way. Last time you said that you stole my--"

"Dammit why don't you just look already!"

"when you said THAT, you set me on fir--"

Kin grabbed his head and turned it down the street.

"Ew. Is that a topeless old lady?"

"It looks like my dad."

Dosu looked at Kin.

"You have a dad?"

"No wait, it looks more like Sasuke."

No, he looks more like a rabbit."

Kin looked at dosu.

"Since when did Sasuke look like a rabbi--"

The figure was standing infront of them now.

"No, I think it looks more like Rock Lee."

"Yeah, your right Dosu!"

"I'M RIGHT HERE YOU KNOW!"

"He still doesn't look familiar." said Dosu.

"I'M ZAKU DAMMIT!"

"Are you sure your not--"

Zaku slapped his own face.

(It WAS Zaku)

**One hour later**

"Hey, it's Zaku!"

**Two minutes later.**

"Hey Zaku? Wern't you going to find that wrestler guy?"

"Yeah. I found him too. He beat my ass."

LOL.

"He gave me the FU, and the five knuckle shuffle."

"what the hell is that?"

"The scary part...I don't even know."

Stare.

**One second later.**

"Anyways, I got a pet!"

Zaku proudly held out a chirping squirrel.

He set it down for a little while.

"A butterfly!" Zaku pranced away.

**Back to Gaara.**

"I TOLD YOU TO STOP RIPPING OUT THE FRIDGE DOOR KANKURO!"

"What the hell are you yelling at me for Gaara! YOU did that!"

Gaara stood silent for a few seconds.

He looked over at Temari.

"YOU FUCKIN LIAR!" Gaara pointed at Kankuro.

"He did it AGAIN?!" Yelled Temari.

"YEAH!" yelled Gaara.

"KANKURO YOU FUCKIN IDIOT!" Temari startedto beat him up.

"DAMMIT! I TOLD YOU! IT WAS GAARA! I WASN'T EVEN HOME!!!! I'M NOT THE ONE WITH **PHOBIAS **OF REFRIGERATORS, JUST CUZ I GOT TRAPPED IN ONE A WEEK AGO!"

Gaara pointed at himself.

"so what! I told you, that door closed on me on pourpose!"

"What were you even doin in the refrigerator Gaara?" asked Temari.

"Drinking milk."

"So, Who REALLY ripped out the fridge door?"

Gaara innocentlly pointed at Kankuro.

"DAMMIT KANKURO!!!!" Temari attacked him again.

"DAMMIT GAARA!"

Gaara smirked and stuck put his tounge at him. Then, he casually walked down the street.

BOOM.

It took Gaara a while to realize his face was burried in dirt. He stood up, and rubbed his head.

He, was TRIPPED.

Gaara looked back, to find a chirping squirrel.

"FUCK YOU SQUIRREL!" Gaara yelled.

The squirrel chirpped. He then mooned Gaara.

Gaara got outradged.

He steppped on the squirrel.

Gaara began to casually walk down the street again.

Slip. BOOM.

Rock Lee stood up.

"How dare you lay there, allowing me to slip on you!" Lee pointed at the squirrel.

He staggered over to the squirrel and ripped it's tail off.

"That shall teach you."

Lee staggered away.

"So, did you get the butterfly Zaku."

Zaku shook his head sadlly.

"Hey, Zaku. Can I hold your squirrel?" Kin pouted.

"Yeah, sure, i'll just go get it!"

**Two seconds later**

"WHYYYYYY!!!!! MY SQUIRREL!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!"

**(A/N) To be continued. Pweeze review.**

**NEW. Pepsi commercial**

Gaara walks up to the cammera holding a pepsi.

"Now what?"

(director) "drink it, and say, 'good'.

"what the hell. That's stupid."

"Just do it, and say what you think of it!"

(drinks out of the pepsi)

(Spits it at the cammera)

"FUCK! THAT TASTES LIKE SHIT!"

"YOUR SUPPOSED TO SAY IT'S GOOD!"

Gaara gets distracted.

Kankuro runs in the door.

"I TOLD YOU! IT WASN'T ME!!!!"

"YEAH! THAT'S WHAT YOU ALWAYS SAY!!!"

(Gaara) "Fanta, fanta, don't you wanna..."

(director) "PEPSI DAMMIT! PEPSI!"

"FANTA!"

(director) "WHY ME?

(Gaara) "Cuz you suck."

(Temari) "I HATE YOU KANKURO!"

"what does this cable do?"

(director) "NO GAARA! DON'T THAT'S THE--"

(Pulls out the cable)

BOOM.

"Cool."

Gaara points at another cable.

"And this?"

"THAT'S THE ONE FOR THE ELECTRICI--

(Yank)

**End of commercial.**

**NEW.Behind The scenes.**

Zaku: What happened to my squirrel?!

Lee: I am sorry, you see, me and Gaara--

Gaara: (knocks out lee)

Zaku: Lee and Gaara what?!!!!!

Gaara: um...hate your guts.

Zaku: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gaara: (Grin)

Temari: Kankuro WAS the one that ripped off the fridge door right?

Gaara: No.

Temari: Sorry, did you say something?

Gaara: It was...Kankuro.

Temari: Really?

Gaara: no.

Temari: huh?

Gaara: ANYWAYS...

Kin: zaku, what are you doing?

Zaku: thinking.

Dosu: You DO that?!

Kin: NO. He doesn't...

Petit-hana: Hi!

Dosu: Your late--

Petit-hana: SHUT UP!

Dosu: Okay.

Kin: Zaku...your ugly.

Zaku: YOU LIE!

Petit-hana: (looks at Gaara)

Gaara: (drinking milk out of a gallon)

**SEEE YA!**


	3. Tape, tails, and cammeras

**Hi there! Welcome back to Sound threeeeeeeee chaotix! I should have names it something like, the adventures of the sound nin, but oh well. I hope you get a laugh out of it, and please, if it's not to much to ask, a review pweez? (bats eyelashes, and pouts) lol. Your choice, but, I DO like reviews...**

_**This Chapter contains:**_

_Another Commercial_

_A interview with Zaku_

_Inside the mind of: Kankuro_

_Naruto Behind the scenes chatter_

**Sound Threeeee Chaotix.Part 3. By Petit-hana. In honor and memory of the sound three.**

FLUSH.

"Hey Zaku, what are you DOING?!"

"I'm having a funeral!"

"What?"

"i'm flushing my squirrel down the toile--"

"YOU IDIOT! YOU ONLY DO THAT WITH FISH!"

"But--"

"IT'S GONNA GET CLOG--"

Kin looked at the floor. There was water coming out from under the door.

"Too late!" Zaku yelled out.

"YOUR GETTING THAT SQUIRREL OUT!"

"But Kiiiin! it's all icky in there and i just got a manicur--"

"I hate you Zaku."

**Meanwhile**

"Hey Gaara, what are you doing with that squirrel tail?" Asked Kankuro.

Gaara smircked.

(sigh) "Okay, just don't try to eat it like you did with that tounge that you--"

Gaara was already gone.

"Fuck, i'm talking to myself."

"..."

"TEMARI!!!!! I'M LONELY!!!!"

(Runs off)

**Meanwhile**

Rock Lee staggered down the street.

"Hey Sasuke."

"Hmph."

Sasuke looks back. He notices something attatched to lee's butt.

'Hey Lee you got a tail--"

Lee looked back. "huh?"

Sasuke shook his head. "Never mind."

(walks away)

Lee blinked several times. "was he checking me out?"

"..."

"Ew."

"I'm blind!!!"

Gaara popped his head out of a bush. He stared at a cammera that was in his hands.

"Dammit. You closed your eyes!"

"WHAT?" Yelled a blinded Lee.

"You suck. I want my tail back."

"Huh?"

Gaara grabbed the tail that he had tapped onto Lee's...and pulled it off.

Lee yelpped in shock.

Gaara started to walk off holding a tail, and a cammera.

Lee sighed. "I shall never understand his personality."

Lee walks off with a clump of fur still tapped onto his butt.

Dosu looked around. He notices, that Zaku and Kin are gone. He FINALLY noticed.

He shrugged. walked up to the cammera.

"Do you need insurence?"

Gaara popped up next to Lee.

"Aaaaahhh!!!" (Shocked)

"What's 'insurance'?

"Uh...I don't know."

Gaara stared at Lee.

"YOU HAVE TO KNOW DAMMIT!"

Lee continued.

"Then you should get Esurance!"

Gaara blinked.

"Candy."

Lee continued. "For only $20.00 a month, you can be fully protected!"

Gaara stared at him. "Even from burglars?"

"uh..."

"Raccons?"

"Uh..."

"Those little marshmallow bunnies?"

"Nooooo!!!!!!!!" Lee runs off.

Gaara stood there.

"what's insurance?"

(whispers from the cammera man)

"Oh..."

"What's insurance?"

(The cammera man tries to brive Gaara off the set with gum)

(cammera Man) "Hey Gaara..."

"Huh?! What?!"

(CM) "Look a pack of gum."

(Gaara) "Reaaly?!

(CM) "Yes. Look."

(holds up a pack of gum)

"Oooooooohhhh!"

(CM throws it as far as he could)

Gaara runs after it.

2 min later

Sasuke walks up to the cammera.

"ESurance--"

"Minty."

Sasuke looks to his side, and finds Gaara chewing gum.

"What the hell are you doing?!"

"You fuckin idiot! Can't you tell im chewing gum!"

"..."

"Minty."

"Can I have some?"

Gaara glares at Sasuke.

Gaara holds up a wad of chewed up gum.

Sasuke runs away.

Gaara blinks.

"Hey cammera man. You want some gum?"

"Uh..no thanks Gaara."

Gaara shrugs and shoves it back in his mouth.

"Minty soda."

"Uh..isn't that gum--"

Gaara glares at the cammera man.

"GAARA SAID IT'S SODA!"

"Okay Gaara calm down!"

"Minty Soda."

O.O

**End Commercial**

Zaku looked at Dosu.

"Hi. I'm back."

"Why do you smell like bathtub water?"

"IT'S TOILET WATER FOR YOUR INFO!"

"That makes it worse."

Kin walked over to Zaku and Dosu.

HUG.

Dosu and Zaku blinked.

"Uh...Kin...why are you hugging us?" Dosu asked.

"..."

Sniff.

"EW ZAKU!"

Lets go of him, still hugging Dosu.

"Waaa! Iv'e been kicked out!"

"...Kin..."

"Yeah?"

"GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!"

O.O

"..."

"Okay!" Kin said cheerflly and skipped away.

"I think she's drunk."

"Yeah."

Dosu winced.

"Is that a tail?"

Zaku looked at kin.

"OMG. She's half squirrel."

O.O

Gaara pops his head out of a tree. (he's upside down)

Flash.

"i'm blind!!!!"

Kin rubbed her eyes.

Gaara stared at the cammera.

"Dammit. You made a sscary face."

Dosu stared at Gaara.

"Don't you mean funny face?"

Gaara holds out the cammera to Dosu.

"OMG! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Dosu runs away yelling "Beware the devil woman!"

Gaara laughs.

Zaku pokes the back of Gaara's head.

"Ahhh!"

BOOM.

Gaara sat up and rubbed his head.

"WHAT THHE HELL?! WHY'D YOU KNOCK ME OUT OF THE TREE?!"

"Uh all I did was--"

"YOU WANT SOME BITCH?!!!!!!!! COME GET SOME!!!!!"

Zaku runs away screaming "Mommy!"

Gaara blinks. lol. "Ha. That always works."

**EnD cHaPpY**

**interview with Zaku**

Voice: Hello Zaku. How are you?

Zaku: OhMeeiGawd! How'd you know my name?!

Voice: Your waring a, 'I'm Zaku, hear me roar' shirt.

Zaku: You got a problem with it?!

Voice: Uh...

Zaku: What? O.O

Voice: It makes you look fat.

Zaku: But Kin said black is very slimming!

Voice: Your shirt isn't black, it's white.

Zaku: So, what's your point?

Voice: sigh

Zaku: (Grin)

Voice: So, ZAKU, do you have any relationship with Kin?

Zaku: EW! i'm not related to her!

Voice: No I mean--

Zaku: You think wrong man!

Voice: Uh..beware!

Zaku: Ahh! I'm scared! O.O

Voice: Good.

Voice: SO, Zaku, are you jealous of Dosu in any way or form?

Zaku: He has a pretty mask.

Voice: That's not part of the question--

Zaku:PRRETTY MASK DAMMIT!

Zaku goes crazy and runs away.

**New. Behind the scenes chat**

Temari: Why am I not in the story?!

Petit-hana: You pushed the ratings up to rated R, when you beat up kankuro. This is rated T.

Gaara: Tea.

Kankuro: No Gaara, T, like, Teen.

Gaara: TEA DAMMIT!

O.O

Zaku: The funeral was sad. I cried.

Kin: O.O you CRIED?

Dosu: and you call yourself manly.

Kankuro: That Kin girl's more manly than Zaku.

Kin: Yeah! Hey wait--!

Naruto: Beleive it!

Everyone: Stares at Naruto.

Gaara: Who invited you?

Naruto: Sakura!

Gaara: Ew. Sakura. Ew.

Sakura: HEY!

dosu: Who invited Sakura?

Kin: (Whistles.)

Sasuke: you could be more obvious?

Gaara: WHO INVITED YOU?! (points menecinglly at Sasuke)

Sasuke: Uh...

Gaara: Oh, you have t go do that Esurance commercial.

Sasuke: Oh yeah. Bye.

(leaves)

Gaara: Idiot. He already did it.

O.O

**See ya! Pweeze review!**


End file.
